How to Catch a Cheater: An Ultimate Guide
It is one of the most painful and traumatic experiences that anyone can ever go through – the betrayal of the person you love unfaithfully stepping out on you, or your partner appearing to be unbearably deceitful and secretive with you.
It is a frightening and hopeless experience, with thoughts of doubted loyalty lingering in your mind and creating a numbing paranoia and clouding all your thoughts.
If you strongly suspect your partner of an affair, then you owe it to yourself to take some steps to find out the truth and protect your interests and your future. Here is a comprehensive guide on ways to catch a cheater.
Start with the Basics
The simplest and easiest thing to do is to start by asking yourself the essential questions- why do you think your partner is cheating? What are the signs that you have noticed? Do any of these signs constitute cheating? Are you ready to face the truth if in fact your partner turns out to be one?
If you have a strong hunch that your partner is cheating and your senses are screaming yes, then these basics are an excellent start to begin piecing together the facts.
Check Their Phone
Nowadays, it’s easier than ever to cheat and carrying a phone allows someone illicit access to avenues they can explore discretely and messily. Our phones contain a variety of clues from which we can make deductions if our partners are cheating on us.
If you have reason to snoop around, consider checking out their Instagram or Twitter activity, or their text message history. Search for the most recently downloaded phone apps and consider if the usage of it is suspect, such as a dating site or anonymous messaging app.
You could even check their browser history to observe if they have been looking at sites which enable anonymous sexting. To access their phone, you could brazenly ask if you can take a look at it or you could use a form of spyware to do a discreet investigative job.
Monitor Phone Calls
If their phone has been a mine of data, then its calls might be a huge source of information on the person’s activities. Listen in closely to the tone of their conversations – are they hushed or secretive? Are they talking to somebody else other than you? You can’t be paranoid, but you also can’t ignore the red flags that appear in normal life when you are being betrayed.
An extreme form of monitoring phone calls is using something called a call blocker, which identifies phone numbers from which calls are received and adds them to a list wherein you can block those numbers.
Track Social Media Activity
Social media can be the source of an array of problematic conversations, and if you have an inkling that something fishy is going on then this can be a place to check their activity.
More often than not, our Facebook and Instagram posts display a large part of who we are and since these are public avenues, you can at least glance through them every now and then to see if anything stands out. Who they have tagged, who they have interacted with, etc. All of this is a good source of evidence to begin piecing together a narrative.
Keep an Eye on Them
This is probably the most rudimentary, but if you need to catch the cheater – watch them. Notice how they act differently when around other people, their friends, or even work colleagues.
Notice if there are any physical changes to them, clothes, or appearance – are they dressing in a more groomed fashion than usual? There could also be a change in their choice of evenings out – suddenly preferring nights out with their friends, as opposed to nights in with you.
Drop by Unexpectedly
It could simply be anxious paranoia, but if you are suspicious of your partner simply dropping by places they frequent can be a good way to establish their whereabouts and rumored activities.
For instance, if they work late but you think they might be meeting somebody else, casually drop by their workplace and let them know you just popped in to say a surprise hello. Do this a couple of times, and if they start camouflaging where they are going and whom they are with then it is a huge red flag.
Think carefully, and place any suspicious items in their belongings. This could be anything, like a piece of jewelry, a leather wallet/purse, or a watch. Leave it there without them realizing and keep an eye on how it’s used.
If you find it being carried around or worn by someone else, then the signs are the cheating is real and true. This is assuming that the suspicious item is only shown to the person you think they are cheating with.
Do a Reverse Search
If your partner has recently started receiving mysterious calls or messages, a reverse search can be a valuable tool in finding out any past information about the person associated with the mystery number.
You can use the internet to search websites such as Zaba Search or White Pages to gain a greater insight into the person. Alternatively, even a small search on Google can yield up results.
Share Your Concerns
If your doubts are great, and in your gut, there is a strong suspicion that your partner is choosing to step away from their sincere commitments to you, then seeking out the advice of others could be an effective means.
It could be a trusted friend of the family, a counselor or even a lawyer who can help you through the quandary. It would give you the peace of mind knowing that the ordeal you are about to go through is being eased by someone who can relate or has seen it firsthand.
Q. How can I check to see if my partner is cheating?
A. It is important to start with the basics – as in, why do you think your partner could be cheating? What are the signs? Then, move on to looking into their phone, listening in to their conversations, monitoring their social media activity and keep an eye out for changes in their behavior. You can also drop by the places they frequent and check to see if they are somewhere they said they will be.
Q. How can I confront my partner if I think they are cheating?
A. This is one of the toughest parts of this process – you have to be brave and be willing to face the truth. Before you confront your partner, ensure you have enough evidence and ask yourself if you are ready for any outcome. When your suspicions are answered, do it in a calm and rational manner without any allegations or ultimatums. Don’t attack them but simply ask for an explanation and be ready for the answer no matter how painful it may be.
Q. Are there any apps that can help me catch a cheater?
A. There are several different spyware apps out there that can help you capture data on your partner’s activities. If you are paranoid, then there are monitoring spyware apps that can help monitor calls, messaging and internet activity. But, bear in mind that these processes are legally unethical and should you decide to use them, then you must be ready to face the consequences.
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